


Never Again

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-04
Updated: 2007-04-04
Packaged: 2019-01-19 16:05:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12413436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: This was the place I had my first kiss. This was the place I ran away to in the night. This was where he had left me crying and alone one year ago. This was the place that haunted me. If I wasn’t here in person, I would be here in thoughts and dreams, always the same. Always with him. ...





	Never Again

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

A/N: ok, so I know that the prophesy wasn’t made until after Harry’s birth, but I need it to be like this for my story to work. Review please!

Never Again

The tears were running down my face slowly, silently, painfully. I sucked in a breath of air and covered my face feeling the rain pound onto my frail body. I was sitting in the park down the street from my house, spinning around and around the merry-go-round. Once upon a time I enjoyed this park, finding it the most romantic place in the town. Now I came here and felt heartbreak. This was the place I had my first kiss. This was the place I ran away to in the night. This was the place he had left me crying and alone one year ago. This was the place that haunted me. If I wasn’t here in person, I would be here in thoughts and dreams, always the same. Always with him. 

I remember the day as clear as if it were still happening at this exact moment. It was the first day after we had gotten home from school, and James appeared at my door. Smiling he asked me to take a walk with him. If I was really looking I would have noticed the fakeness of his smile, and the sadness in his eyes. We walked around and he subconsciously led me to the park where we had our first kiss. It was the exact place I had finally agreed to go out with him. He led me over to the swings and we both sat down. He looked down to the gravel beneath his feet, and sucked in a breath of air. The words that came out of his mouth still haunt me to this day.

“Lily, I think that we should break up. I just can't be with you anymore,” he whispered. If I had looked close enough I would have noticed that his eyes had glossed over, and he looked more pained than ever. But I was too busy trying to accept what he had just said. My eyes had filled with tears and they were pouring into my lap like from a roaring waterfall. He reached over and grabbed my hand.

“Lily, I’m so sorry. You need to understand that this is for the best. I don't want to hurt you,” he muttered apologetically and then I felt his body disappear and heard the loud crack of him disapparating away. Everything broke loose after that. I was sobbing loudly and I couldn’t see anything but the blurred pictures that my eyes could distinguish. I fell from the swing down to the ground and curled into a ball. My tears wouldn’t stop, and all I wanted to do was die right there. I couldn’t see how he could leave me. Everything had been so perfect, and then it ended so suddenly. Ever since that day I have felt broken and useless. I can hardly function without him around. 

I was staring at the stars above me and how they all seemed to blur together when my eyes were filled with tears. I sat up and wiped my face, clearing it of all wetness. It had been exactly a year since he had left me, and it still hurt as bad as it did then. I looked at the sky again and tried to clear my mind, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never get him out of my mind. He never leaves, teasing me with his constant presence. I sighed and put my head into my arms. I felt I would never get over the pain I felt so constantly. 

“Lily?” I heard whisper from behind me. My head snapped up, and I felt it was too good to be true. James was standing there, his hands in his pockets and his hair all messed up. He looked horrible. He had bags under his eyes and I could see that he had been crying a lot. His clothes were ripped and dirty, as though he couldn’t bring himself to clean them. He walked toward me like a zombie and I could tell that he was sleep deprived. He sat on the merry go round beside me and was silent for a moment. 

“I’m so sorry for everything I have done,” he whispered regretfully, “And I know that I hurt you. So I’m going to explain myself and hope that you will take me back.”

I looked at him and replied, “Why should I even give you that chance James?”

He looked down and sighed. “Because I was stupid, and… well, just stupid.”

“James! You broke up with me a year ago! It’s been a whole year! How can you even think that I would consider?” I burst out. Truly all I wanted to do was to grab him and kiss him, but that would be inappropriate considering all things.

“Lily, I promise that I have a reason. I did this all to save you,” he whispered, hurt.

“Fine, but it had better be good James,” I muttered. He nodded and looked up to the sky as if it would aid him in his story telling.

“Dumbledore told me about a year ago that there was a prophesy about us. He told me that our son would be the one to destroy Voldemort. That he would mark our son as his equal, and that neither of them can live as the other does. If Voldemort went after our son and wanted to kill him, then I knew that he would kill you, and that hurt me. I figured I could live a life without you if I knew you were safe. I was wrong.”

His eyes were glossed over and his hands were clenched together tightly. He looked to the ground and sighed.

“James, you have no clue how much you hurt me when you left. I never thought it was possible to be in so much pain, but you proved me wrong. When you left it felt as though my heart was being ripped into pieces and stomped on by a herd of elephants. My eyes haven’t been dry since that day. But even after that… It makes my heartbreak seem not as bad, to think that you left to save me, even though that’s a total crap excuse… But James, I would have died for you, and if you died, it would have killed me, so I think it was stupid for you to leave. But the only way I will take you back is if you promise me that no matter how much danger us being together puts me in, you will never leave me again. Never.” I looked into his eyes with a blazing look, clearly getting my point across. He gave the smallest of smiles and tentatively reached over and grabbed my hand. I squeezed it to reassure him that it was ok and he relaxed.

“I promise. Even though it hurts me to say so. I can't stay away from you. You’re too addictive.”

We only held hands that night. I felt it would be wrong to just forget what had happened to us, and let things go back to the way they were. I loved James then, and I knew he loved me too, but I couldn’t let him think that I would always just take him back. And plus, it had been a year since we had even seen each other, even though it felt as if it had just been days with the way we talked. 

After a month of us dating again James proposed to me, and we were married on August 21, 1979. Almost a year later on July 31, our son, Harry James Potter was born. We loved each other and our son more dearly than anything, and we prayed we would never be parted. But in the back of each of our heads was the lingering fear that Voldemort would come after us and Harry. We went into hiding that November, living in a secluded area called Godric’s Hollow, and had James’s friend Peter be our secret keeper, the only one who could tell others where our house was. 

But on October 31, 1981, there was a knock on the door, and I knew without even seeing who was there, that Peter had sold us out. James told me to take Harry and run. I did, even knowing that James would die. I ran to Harry’s room and laid him into his crib. I heard a shout and the thump of a body falling to the ground. I bit back a sob and fell to my knees. When Voldemort came into that room, I gave my life to save my baby. I gave my life to be with my love, just as I had promised him I would. After all, we can't seem to stay away from each other for long periods of time. Never again will we be separated. Never again. 


End file.
